Introducing Hamlet the Wonder Pig

See that little pig laying in front of the fire? That's Hamlet the micro mini pig.  Isn't he just a little bundle of porcine cuteness?  I had done my research before purchasing him, so I knew what I was getting into.  He came from his wonderful breeder already litter trained, laid on my lap while I read, slept under the covers at my feet and snarffled up salad and piggy pellet with gusto.  I took him with me to work every day so that all and sundry could meet him, hold him, ooh and ahh over him, basically socializing him to death. He quickly became the clinic mascot and was quite full of himself, as a pig with a multitude of adoring fans is wont to do.

And then he did this.  What a talented pig!  Daddy left the door to the office open for a little bit and what wonders a young pig could find there: pens and paper, memory sticks and parrot treats, wastebaskets full of surprises. What fun!  If you look closely you can see his little tail wagging in delight.  It was a harbinger of things to come.  I might have grumbled a bit and put a moratorium on open doors, but I loved him so much that I picked him up and gave him a kiss on the snout before cleaning up.  This time....

See that folks?  That was my drive in this morning.  In my neck of the woods we get WINTER not winter.  Today we held up the white flag to mother nature and said, "You win!". We were warned to stay off of the roads for fear of sliding into ditches, snowbanks, transport trucks.  You know, the usual.  Did I listen? Hell no.  My car had a mani/pedi booked with the body shop (ok, so my driveway was so icy a couple of weeks ago that I slid into our stand of Sumacs, leaving my side mirror buried in a snow drift) and I needed it back ASAP to get to a conference this weekend.

I made it to the body shop, checked in and picked up my rental; my really small, camouflage white, no snow tires, low to the ground rental. I asked the clerk why no snow tires. "Oh, they're all season." Pfftt. All season.  Maybe if you live in California.  I normally drive a RAV4.  I love my RAV.  It happily plows through drifts, mud, herds of sheep (just kidding on the last one, but it would, if I'd let it.).  In the rental I felt like I was sitting, literally, on the snow covered tarmac.  I slid into snowdrifts not once, not twice, but THREE times.  People in their vehicles equipped with SNOW TIRES plowed by me, oblivious to my obvious distress.

I wish I could get angry.  I can't.  It's a personality fault. I'm working on it.  Sitting in my godawful rental, in a snowdrift, it would have been lovely to have sworn a blue streak to release the massive tension I'd accumulated in the short time I'd driven the car from hell.  Instead, I bawled. I HATE that!  If I'm frustrated, I cry. When I should be pissed off,  I cry.  Iphone stolen? Cried. The Sumac Encounter? Cried.  I have an alter who would likely have happily taken a crowbar to the demon car and given it what for, but not me.  Like I said, working on it.

Yes, It's Been Awhile

My blogging came to an abrupt halt in 2011, not because I was tired of it, or because a patient mauled my fingers leaving me unable to type (though that's not beyond the realm of possibility), but because my life kinda went to hell in a handbasket (more on that later).

My brain went kablooey (more on that later). I bought a practice (more on that later) and I bought a pig (yup, you guessed it, more on that later).

If I tried to explain all of this in a single post, most of you would give up after paragraph 57 and never come back. Hell, most of you may never come back anyway.  That's ok, 'cause this isn't about becoming popular, making money, or going viral.  Truth is, I'm supposed to be keeping a journal because it's therapeutic (Shhhh.  If you read closely, that sentence was rife with sarcasm).  Face it folks, many of us have tried and failed at writing stuff down every day.  I know I have.  Repeatedly.  Will blogging be different? I dunno.  It will if the pig has anything to do with it.  He senses a rise in his already local popularity and will likely demand that his shenanigans be posted for all the world to read.  Pigs are funny that way (more on that later).