Saturday, October 31, 2009

Read the Fine Print

Well...didn't I feel like a tool today! Our local humane society has just recently started early spay/neuter of kittens and puppies before adopting them into their forever homes. Yesterday I saw the first of these! It was a lovely, bouncy, black and white MALE 16 week old kitten. Mid-way through my 'kitten talk', I started my usual feel for the testicles to make sure they were where they should be. Nothing. Checked to make sure it was a boy. Yup. Sometimes, one of the testicles won't descend into the scrotum, and instead hangs out in the inguinal area (inner thigh) or abdomen (belly). This is called cryptorchidism and these boy bits need to be removed as they like to become cancerous. Even more rarely, neither testicle will descend. This is known as bilateral (both sides) cryptorchidism and I wondered if this kitten would be my first of these cases. As said kitten was being a major squirming unit, I took it into the treatment area to have my technician hold him for a better look. On closer inspection, under the fur, I could see the healing incisions of a castration surgery. Sure enough, a closer look at the file revealed that this kitten had been neutered at 8 weeks of age! Hello!

I walked back into the examination room, feeling sheepish, and admitted to the owner that I had been looking for something that wasn't there, and didn't I feel the fool! Luckily they laughed (while likely wondering how competent their veterinarian was!). Always read the fine print!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Timber the Chewie Whore


There's no polite way to put it. I have discovered that Timber the samoyed is a chewie whore.

I've been feeling quite under the weather lately and, as a result, have been spending as much time huddled under the covers as time will allow. Last night was no exception. I was feeling rather sorry for myself when Timber, uncharacteristically, jumped onto the bed and crawled his way across it until he was snuggled up next to me, his head under my arm. "Awww", I thought. Timber understands that I'm not feeling well and is trying in his doggy way to do what he can. I'm so naive. However, I'm not to be blamed, because Timber was demonstrating a level of subtly formally unknown to him.

As I gave him scritches, he turned himself over onto his back, stretching himself with little grunts and groans. Ok, this was pushing it, even for Timber. He has a massive coat and usually finds about 2 minutes on the bed more than he can handle before he gets too warm. Then a lightbulb, albeit a dim one, went on above my head. Toby was on the floor beside us, chewing on a piece of rawhide he'd managed to scrounge somewhere in the house. Timber didn't have one. Timber kept shooting glances at Toby whilst nudging me yet again. Darn it. In no way was my dog acting on his Lassie-like need to succor an ailing loved one. He just wanted a flippin' chewie! To test my theory I said, "Chewie?" Off the bed in a flash, I found him in the kitchen sitting eagerly next to the pantry door where said chewies are stored. Nice. My dog has learned to prostitute himself for treats.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Oops

When Timber, my Samoyed, didn't eat his dinner, I became a little worried. That boy NEVER misses a meal. In fact, I can often hear the lid of his food bin banging up and down if I'm late with the vittles (Timber's idea of a subtle hint). I ceased to be worried when I found the empty bags that used to house 2 dozen day-old donuts slated for the chicken's lunch. Sigh...

Friday, April 24, 2009

Dear Clients...

I had a client in today who gave her 8 year old a cup of our complimentary coffee before coming into the exam room with her 2 children and 2 cats. Needless to say, it was all I could do to have myself heard above the cacophony. These situations are always a bummer because the patient and the client lose out with most of my recommendations being lost into the ether.

This 'tongue-in-cheek' email floated around a few years ago. Even though it's meant in jest, there's a lot of truthful bits in it. Don't get me wrong. The majority of our clients are wonderful people who truly care for their pets.

Letter to our veterinary clients,

Welcome to our practice. The following are some suggestions of how to make things easier for you and more interesting for our staff.

As you have already figured out, your scheduled appointment time is just a suggestion. Feel free to ignore it and do as you please.

If you are not going to show up, please do not call. We like the suspense of trying to figure out what you are going to do. Some times we run bets on it. So as you can see, calling and informing us of your intentions would just take the fun out of our day. Our other clients are all rich and don't mind having to pay extra to go the emergency vet because we didn't know your appointment slot would be available.

Verbal abuse is always appreciated. If possible, wait until the waiting room is full. Please be creative in your profanity, we all like to expand our vocabulary, as do our clients and their children.

Please do not put your dog on a leash or you cat or bird in a carrier. Just let them loose as soon as you walk in. The staff enjoy a little pandemonium and breaking up animal fights. If you do actually use a leash for your dog, make sure it's at least 20 feet long or longer. We enjoy being tripped by leashes and getting your dog out of our lab. It keeps us on our toes. Or better yet, just let the leash loose on the floor so the dog can roam anywhere it wants while the leash drags behind it.

Bring as many small children as possible. Three or more are preferred. If you don't have that many, borrow from your neighbors (look for the poorly behaved ones). Make sure they all have juice and crayons because we all love to clean. Also we encourage them to jump up on the furniture, play roughly with the hospital cat, and go through the drawers.

Making an appointment time when your child is too sick to go to school with some Ebola like disease is a great way to use your free time. We love getting your child's diseases. It reminds us of our childhoods. Making an appointment time when you are too sick to go work pleases us as well. We often enjoy being short staffed and having the flu bug now and again to remind us to update our own flu vaccines.

Do not bring any prior records as we request. Calling other clinics gives us time to catch up with old friends. Our other clients don't mind waiting 20 minutes past their appointment times while records are faxed. They don't have anywhere else to be anyway.

We're just kidding when we suggest that you bring stool or urine samples in. That's gross. We'll just get it off of our waiting room floor while your unattended dog relieves themselves everywhere.

Please feel free to stay on your cell phone as long as you like as we have all day to wait for you. Hands free headsets are preferred because it really makes it a challenge to figure out if you are talking to us or the person on the phone. Make sure to call us back later that day and ask questions about all the things we were trying to explain earlier.

When giving us information about your pet, please be as vague as possible. The doctor is psychic and can communicate with your pet so it's just a formality anyway. Please send your teenager or neighbor in with your very sick pet with no information as to what exactly is wrong with the pet and cannot answer any specifici questions. We like trying to guess what is wrong and how to treat it.

Be sure to bring along your spouse who will give us an entirely different history than you do. If this is not possible, you can insist that we call him/her at work to get the history. Then after we are finished, we can call him/her back again to repeat the exact same instructions that we just gave to you.

If you are coming in for a second opinion, be sure to bring along no less than 50 pages of information that you have downloaded from the internet. This is far more important than any previous records, lab results, radiographs etc. The doctor will be more than happy to sift through all this information and discuss it with you at length. The clients in the waiting room understand this and don't mind being 40 minutes late because your appointment time was only scheduled for 30 minutes. We understand that it's our fault that you have to pay twice to do lab work, radiographs that you had done at the other vet because we didn't have the records.

Be sure to insist we follow your breeder's recommendations, especially about anesthesia and vacccines. Our years of schooling and training really don't teach us anything so we appreciate the guidance. If the breeder doesn't know, don't forget to ask your groomer, otherwise just ask your neighbor for the advice you need.

Give medications as you see fit. We just put prescription labels on because we think the label printer is really cool. We understand that when the condition doesn't improve because of this, it's our fault, not yours.

Always complain about the bill. We know our prices are too high. In general we tend to be greedy and don't really care about your pet in the least, we really just want that Beverly Hills mansion instead.

Don't tell us that all the other vets had to muzzle your dog until after they try to bite. It keeps our reflexes sharp. Besides, it's more of a challenge to attempt to muzzle a dog once they're all worked up.

If your cat is hissing and upset, please put your hands and face as close to their mouth as possible. They would never bite you. If a bite does occur, we realize that it's our fault.

Ignore the employee only signs. Just wander about as your please. Stick your hands in all the cages, open all the drawers and cupboards. If your child is wandering around, we prefer them to be barefoot.

If your pet is sick, please wait a minimum of three days before having them seen. A week is preferred. Be sure to exhaust all treatments available over the counter or at the pet store before bringing them in to be examined. The best time to call is on Friday afternoon.

Be sure to call 5 minutes before closing and tell us that it is an emergency after waiting a week. Then please complain when you are charged an emergency fee for coming in after hours. Our staff actually don't like their families that much and aren't in a rush to be with them.

Feel free to express your ideas about what is wrong with other client's pets at the checkout counter. Feel free to tell them that whatever we recommended is unnecessary and too expensive and can be easily fixed with a vitamin.

Please do not bring in more than $20 with you and no credit cards or checkbooks. Our office manager previously worked in a pawn shop so she will be happy to appraise any piece of jewelry or household item. Payment plans are available, no interest for 6 months and we can send the bill to your ex-spouse for your convenience.

Please expect us to subsidize yor pet's health care cost. You know we all become vets to work at the vet hospital because we love animals and want to help them. Since we are already doing what we love we don't expect to be paid for it. Our creditors will completely understand that because of this we can't pay our bills and we really don't like electricity, heat, food or vehicles so living without them is a relief.

When you buy two female dogs from your breeder, expect and DEMAND a discount for their spays, because you deserve it for having two dogs. The same applies to cats as well.

Remember that, if you adopt male and female puppies from the same litter, you won't need to spay and neuter them because brothers and sisters don't mate, that's gross.

If you are running late and have other errands to take care of, please drop off your pet at the front desk. Do not give us any more information that 'needs some shots', or 'isn't doing right'. We'll have your prescription and pet ready for you to pick up within the hour, or next Tuesday.

We look forward to caring for your pet. If you, your neighbor, breeder, or groomer have any suggestions about what we can do to make life easier for you and more difficult for our staff, please do not hesitate to let us know.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Paws in Print

This is the first in a series of reposts of articles I wrote for the local paper:

The Take on Teeth

Imagine not brushing your teeth for a year. Your friends stop dropping by. People give you horrified looks as they pass you on the sidewalk. Neighbours leave bottles of mouthwash in your mailbox. You've got bad breath. It hurts to eat because your gums are sore and a couple of your teeth are loose. You feel generally sick because bacteria from an infection in your mouth have spread through your bloodstream, wreaking havoc on your kidneys and the rest of your body.

A lot of people have imagined themselves in their pet's shoes (or paws!). In the past, we've never really considered the dental health of our pets. Wolves and tigers don't brush, right? They also don't have meals placed in front of them in handy-dandy kibble form!

Dental care is an important part of looking after your dog or cat. At each yearly physical, your veterinarian will examine your pet's teeth to determine the amount of tartar present and for the presence of gum disease. Dentistry may be recommended. This involves the scaling and polishing of all the teeth while your pet is under anesthetic. Extractions can be done if necessary.

If possible, you should brush your pet's teeth on a daily basis. I admit I'm a bit lax and only manage it about once a week. Some pets love it! Icey, once of my Samoyeds, starts to drool as soon as I get out the toothpaste. Tundra puts up a fuss, but eventually gives in with a big sigh when he realizes I'm not going to give up. You need to use a toothpaste formulated for pets, as regular paste can cause stomach upset. If you have a puppy or kitten, start brushing their teeth now so that they'll get used to it. With an adult pet, you may need to start with a 'finger' toothbrush. It fits over the top of your finger and tends to be less 'scary' to an animal than a big brush.

Special 'tartar control' diets are available from your veterinarian which are designed to remove plaque while being eaten. Rawhides and other chewies are good for gums and teeth. Just make sure you keep an eye on your dog while he's eating them. A lot of dogs are gluttons and will literally bite off more than they can chew!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Some Updates...

Ack! It's been forever since I've written! Is seems like I'm at work all day, home by 8 pm, cook and eat dinner, clean, feed and pay attention to various pets, then hit the sack with a big sigh. Loving my job makes it all worthwhile, but I find I have little time to do other things, such as sit down and contribute to my blog! I shall try harder.

Molly, the little Cushing's dog, went a little too many days on her initial treatment and had to be put on prednisone. Her parental units weren't the best at following instructions, which is so critical in these cases. When we start these dogs on Lysodren, the owners have to watch for ANY sign that the dog is not itself. Typically, dogs with Cushing's are ravenous and attack the food bowl with gusto when it's offered. During the first part of treatment, I have owners feed the patients 2/3 of what they normally would to keep the patient hungry and assure that they'll want to eat when they're fed. The moment the dog so much as hesitates before eating, or even lifts his head and looks around between munches, treatment is stopped and the ACTH stimulation test repeated. In Molly's case, she was a 'nibbler' of dry food, never eating much at one time. However, she'd scarf canned food like it was ambrosia. My plan was to have her eat canned food during the initial part of the treatment, so that we'd know when her appetite decreased. Unfortunately, her parents refused to feed her canned food, no matter how I explained why it was so important. I failed Molly in that case. As a result, it wasn't until one of my daily calls to the owner when she told me Molly wasn't herself and was whining all the time, that I knew we'd better stop the drug and retest her NOW. When I redid her ACTH stimulation test (that's the one that checks to see how much cortisol her adrenal glands can possibly produce), it showed that her adrenals were now producing too little cortisol. Predictably, she developed diarrhea, vomiting and didn't want to eat. I started her on some predisone, to replace the hormone she was now lacking. Quickly, the vomiting and diarrhea stopped, and she started to eat. She'll stay on this for a couple of weeks until her adrenals recover, then we'll test her again. This has become a very frustrating case for me.

On a happier note, Bailey, the dog with the now-fused toes, is doing great! After a week in the splint, we moved to thick bandages and now to just a bootie over the healing foot. I'm impressed with the cosmetic effect of the surgery and Bailey is walking better than she ever has. Of course she still wants to lick the foot!! It's likely become a compulsive thing with her and if she continues to lick, even after the foot has completely healed, I may discuss some medication meant for this type of problem to her owners. I'll try to post a pic of the foot was it's completely healed.

Some things tend to come in threes, or fours... I have another cystotomy to do next week; yet another hunt for more bladder stones! Will keep ya posted!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Something's Afoot



Pretty gross, huh? Bailey had a similar growth removed from the same spot between 2 of her toes a couple of years ago. The histopathology (where a pathologist looks at the mass on a cellular level to try to find out what it is) had indicated that it was 'Interdigital Furunculosis'. This can be caused by an ingrown hair, allergies, or other foreign bodies, leading to secondary bacterial infections and chronic irritation of the surrounding tissue. Unfortunately, Bailey didn't respond to medical therapy for the problem when it occurred a second time (long term antibiotics, soaking the foot...) and the mass had been allowed to get so big that removing it was going to be a challenge.

Bailey had become obsessive about licking this part of her foot, even after the initial surgery. If she continued to lick the area between her toes after the second surgery, the problem could very well recur. That and because there wasn't going to be a lot of extra skin to close the wound I decided to try a procedure called a 'fusion podoplasty', a fusing together of the toes.

The procedure when really well. The before and after pictures are above. I've sent the mass off to the lab to make sure we're not dealing with a new beastie. Bailey has to wear a splint on that foot for a few weeks to allow it to heal without any pressure being put on it. I'll try to post a pic again once her sutures are removed and everything's healed. I'm crossing fingers that we won't have the problem return.